The world according to G.

to my 21 year old self

Self esteem

You are ok.  Never doubt that.

It’ them not you.

Stop beating yourself up.

Let yourself off the hook.

So you screwed up, who hasn’t?

You are your own best friend, with you from beginning to end.

Trust your instinct, nobody knows you better than yourself.

Don’t overthink.  Maybe it is as simple as that.

Dare to dream.

If there’s nobody to love you, love yourself.

Relationships

Stick up for yourself even against the tide.

Don’t expect anyone to be the solution to all your problems.

Don’t trust anybody 100%.

Don’t give all of yourself, save a little for you.

Keep some things private, just for you.

Don’t give your fragile heart away too easily.

Don’t drop your glasses moment you fall in love.

Invest in a magnifying glass before loving again.

Lick your wounds, hibernate, sulk but don’t take too long.

It could get a lot worse so thank your lucky stars.

Hitting rock bottom is good news because the only way is up.

The smart horse never eats the same grass twice.

Under no circumstances lose your identity to your lover.

Keep a nestegg however small and an essential ‘being dumped’ survival kit.

Sure way for your relationship to fail is to put your love on  a pedastal.

Don’t change the core you for anybody, only adjust minor faults.

If s/he loves you they’ll find time to see you.

Keep your dignity, get the message if s/he doesn’t respond.

Desperation is not a good look.

Taking care of your own needs is not ‘selfish’ but essential.

Don’t love too much.

Life

The needle can’t be sharp both ends.

Don’t trust till the person has proven himself worthy.

Not everybody is your friend.

Don’t give up too easily.

Never get bitter; still good people out there, just have to meet them.

People and not wads of paper money are your richest resource.

Love really does conquer all; more potent than hate.

Communicate with your family while you still can.

Most parents though annoying do have your best interests at heart.

Wisdom is gained through pain.

There are no happy poets.

Nothing is ever totally black and white.  Truth lies somewhere in those murky

grey areas.

Be compassionate, that could be you.

Take the Hippocratic oath:  do no harm.

Widen your circle of care; get rid of your tunnel vision.

Can’t take your money with you so use it now for good.

Putting a smile on a sad person’s face is priceless.

Don’t rush around and miss the main show, your life.

Hold onto your sense of humour, only thing left when you lose everything.

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About cho wan yau

Teacher by day poet/writer by night. Words have been my first love and will be my last. As a child I locked myself into the toilet devouring books which transported me to distant lands. Poetry shared penned from 2009-2010 in a titanic struggle to stay sane at Heartbreak Hotel. Please check it out on chowanyau@wordpress.com. Any comments or feedback welcome. Why not share your story with me, because we all have one, don't we?

Posted on August 9, 2013, in New Life, Relationships, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. Great wisdom in your words. I told my daughters. Always be able to take care of yourself. Never depend on a man. You must be able to stand on your own feet in a bad situation. Thank you for the outstanding blog.

    • Thanks John for your kind words. Well the waterfall of tears and fragmented heart have to have some use, right? I’ve been wondering why I have been spared when so many good people have gone before me. Breast cancer 2x, heart failure from chemo, depression, suicidal thoughts, abandoned during chemo, unceremoniously dumped by hubby of 16 years, together 18 after gruelling marathon 6 months treatment from surgery to radiotheraphy. Must have a reason why, something I am meant to do here? For good.

      Maybe this is it. I love writing, it has kept me sane and head above water, just. Most of my poetry was written during that dark dark period, struggling to make sense of it all. If I can save some poor soul, man or woman from all that pain from the wisdom gained then it was all worth it. I hadn’t been to hell and back in vain.

      • Good to share information. You have survive hard times. I like the quote from a great writer somewhere in time. “If I save one life. My writing was worthwhile.”

  2. Absolutely. I have no end of insider info on the above diseases to share. Like most aspiring writers hope to publish one day, reach more people. Thinking seriously of doing a counselling course; what depressed people need is not someone to tell them what they should do, cos they can’t at that time, otherwise they wouldn’t be depressed, but just someone who will listen without judging and above all who understands, cos they have been there themselves.

  3. I could have benefited greatly from these good words of advice … love the post.

    • Yep wished someone had told me all this before …or just given me a crystal ball for Christmas. That’s why it is for my younger self, the one before the damage was done. Healing is possible but I am not sure if I’ll ever be ‘whole’ again.

      • I know that feeling all too well, but for me, I learned to accept that I was forever changed and missing a huge part of myself, and so now I work at learning to like this new me and being ok with being broken. It’s working for me. I wish you all the best and send you energy of strength 🙂

      • Brilliant. How did you get to that stage of acceptance and what did you do to ‘work at learning to like this new’ you? I’d like to try so I can be comfortable in my new skin. Thanks for the well wishes and sending of energy of strength.

      • I had to take the day to think about your question, because it is not so easily answered. I’m still not certain I can explain it properly, but I can tell you how the acceptance began, and that was to expose the wound, not hide it away like it was something to be ashamed of. I did this by talking about it to anyone who would listen. I wrote about it. I kept talking about it and writing about it until I didn’t need to talk or write about it anymore. And then I learned to enjoy long hours spent alone, so that I could stay focused on me and taking care of me. Unfortunately, this, like the healing process, takes time and perseverence.

      • Gr8 minds think alike. That is exactly what I’ve been doing, driving family and friends crazy and proving those that still remain love me very much. I think I am getting to the stage of being sick and tired of hearing it myself; kinda going through the anger bit and hopefully soon very soon can let it all go truly from the heart and not just the head telling me to. Thanks for sharing your experience and taking a whole day to answer my question.

    • You ok Kheri been off the radar

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