Don’t sell yourself short
If there is one thing I take away from my doomed marriage is never sell yourself short. Don’t settle for crumbs when you can have the cake and eat it. Even if you can’t at least think BIG, dare to dream, soar the heights rather than stay stuck on the ground in the tiny corner of your world.
I used to think I was ‘happy’, the ex throwing crumbs of affection and attention my way now and again. I didn’t know better, that I was worth so much more and that my love far outweighed his. He explained why he wanted to call time in a very clinical manner. ‘You see it is like a balance sheet. What I’m getting out of the marriage is far less than what I’m putting in.’ Just like that he pulls the plug, getting rid of the baby along with the bath water. Now I know it is actually the other way round but hindsight is a wonderful thing.
Good news everybody, we are all valuable and worthy of the best and respect just by virtue of being human. As simple as that. You don’t have to strive to make a difference, do heroic stuff on the world stage like Martin Luther King or Mother Teresa. You don’t even have to have perfect complexion, wrinkle free and be a size 0. You don’t have to do anything or be anybody apart from yourself. Just be.
I learnt this. If nobody loves you, love yourself. If nobody validates/ acknowledges you, validate yourself. Be your own best friend, give yourself the best advice, take good care of you, cos you and yourself are gonna be together a real long time, from birth to that last breath you take.
The only person you can’t divorce, ever get away from is you, make peace with yourself and make a huge effort to establish a good relationship and rapport.
Don’t settle for second best, afraid that the best may never come and you would have missed the boat. Be sure what exactly it is you want and don’t accept any less out of fear and low self esteem.