Let’s have a grown up calm conversation and an open honest one.
Why? Why can you love A and share your true self and you couldn’t with me?
Why do you want compassion and understanding when you did not find it in your heart to show me some?
Why were you not there when I needed you most?
Why did you betray my trust and broke my heart? It is still not fully mended, work in progress.
Why did you never publish a volume of love poems for me however crap?
Was my love not worth anything, an inferior brand?
Why haven’t you been supporting M since move to Bulgaria?
Why haven’t you made the effort with her? The occasional email, lunch when you happened to be in UK, one or two tickets to Sofia a yr don’t cut it and you know it. It’s convenient. She’s not important anymore?? Not worth bothering with? And don’t say I came to help her move didn’t I and I had only started a new job any father would have done that, any and ones who supported her meanwhile too, so don’t be an arse.
Word of warning for old times’ sake don’t build your happiness on someone else. That was my mistake.
I wish you no harm. I have never wished anybody harm, if it happened, I apologise, it was incidental, not planned, manslaughter not murder.
I would like it very much if you allowed a tiny space in your head, heart to think of me now and again. You don’t even have to tell me. We had love, I know, I was there, we cared, you did too and not just about M. It hurts too much to be deleted, obliterated, eliminated. Can you find it in your heart, a bit of compassion and yes I am asking with tears in my eyes, so I know that I did matter, I didn’t imagine it, I wasn’t delusional. I was loved by you, the only man I ever loved and I will never love another like I did you. That’s why it still hurts. I know I am a fool but hey ho that’s me, an emotional fool. I take full responsibility for my idiocy loving a man who squandered and stamped on my love.
Last of all what I really want to know is did you change beyond recognition or this has been the real you all along?