Mum passed away on my birthday

Mum passed away quickly, painlessly and peacefully at 12.55 am GMT Saturday 26 Oct 2013, she was 84.

I am glad the doctor did not clear me to fly on Monday the 21st so both I and my brother were there for the last moment.  I sang her Cantonese opera her favourite and we had all grown up listening to it on vinyl spinning round the record player.  I only know a few lines and sing out of tune but it seemed the only thing to soothe her when agitated, confused or in pain.  I would repeat the lines over and over again but Mum didn’t seem to mind.

Most of all I am grateful for the two weeks with Mum in hospital.  Though we did not communicate with words we felt the bond of unconditional love that only exists between mother and child.

About cho wan yau

Teacher by day poet/writer by night. Words have been my first love and will be my last. As a child I locked myself into the toilet devouring books which transported me to distant lands. Poetry shared penned from 2009-2010 in a titanic struggle to stay sane at Heartbreak Hotel. Please check it out on Any comments or feedback welcome. Why not share your story with me, because we all have one, don't we?

Posted on October 26, 2013, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. Now – and this might seem hard to hear right now, but it’s meant with compassion – you’ve made your peace with your Mom – she has left pain behind and is in a better place, no matter what your belief is, they all say the same with this regard – Now – get back to your own life and needs Cho Wan Yau and build on what you and your Mom started when she gave birth to you 🙂

  2. I actually shut my eyes and felt some kind of ‘calm’ when I read this, Mama G. The peace you made with your mother… I’m so glad to hear of it. It is unfortunate the circumstances in which it came about, but it must feel so different and freeing to know that all along, you did have her love.
    P.S. Happy Birthday. Hope you are holding up okay. xoxo

  3. I’m really sorry… at least you could be by her site and have ‘those moments’. I hope you will feel better soon.

  4. For your Mother, may she rest in peace. It seems certain she will, given her daughter being at her side in her passing. Stay up, Cho. Under the circumstances, Happy Birthday feels odd to say, but Happy Birthday all the same.

  5. I’m sorry for your loss, cho wan yau.
    It’s amazing that you’ve listed so many positive things in your post and you can say that you’re grateful. I’m sure your mum is grateful too. You’ve done a great thing. And happy birthday!

  6. A little late here. My condolence to you, Mama G. Be strong and how I wish to give you a hug now. I’m sure Grandma G (I hope you don’t mind me referring that) didn’t want to see you sad. You’ve done what you’re supposed to. Rest in peace, Grandma G. *Hug*

  7. My deepest condolences…
    Ohm Amitabha Hrih…
    May She be reborn in the land of happiness, among the kindest of souls and purest of spirits.

  8. Thanks Deborah and Hari. I like the idea of Grandma G x

  9. Please accept my sympathies in your loss. I think your Mum must have thought you sounded like an angel…

  10. That is very sweet thank you Theresa

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