So it has come to this

My daughter told my ex that Grandma G had passed away and that the funeral went well.  He said he was glad to hear that.  He did not contact me directly to send condolences nor did he ask M to pass them on, despite the fact that this was his mother in law for 16 years and we been going out for two years before marriage.  What would it hurt him to just be decent?  But to do so would show he still cared but won’t admit it or that he blatantly doesn’t.  Either way he has re-affirmed my image of him as a cold person who is devoid of all emotion. 

I was tempted to send him a sarcastic e-mail thanking him for sending his condolences but then that would show I cared whether he did or not.  I don’t really but it does reafirm what I thought of him and I am so thankful that he did me a favour by ending the marriage.  Sometimes things can really turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

 

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About cho wan yau

Teacher by day poet/writer by night. Words have been my first love and will be my last. As a child I locked myself into the toilet devouring books which transported me to distant lands. Poetry shared penned from 2009-2010 in a titanic struggle to stay sane at Heartbreak Hotel. Please check it out on chowanyau@wordpress.com. Any comments or feedback welcome. Why not share your story with me, because we all have one, don't we?

Posted on November 27, 2013, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Yeah kinda reminds me of how I keep finding notes and journals and stuff that plainly shows that I’m doing the right thing… sigh. It’s sad, hurtful and very depressing but… I guess that’s just life =(
    Hope you’re doing ok, Mama G….

  2. Wow, that really is cold. You’re right, maybe ending in the marriage really was a blessing in disguise, wow. 😦

  3. I’m fine Jade, thanks for asking, never been better I’m happy and free, what more can a gal want? The broken down fridge and now the fight with Whirpool rather I am entitled to get it fixed on the warranty is a pain but these headaches are only temporary and solvable. Once a friend told me after a car accident that anything I can resolve with money is ok. It’s true, it’s hassle, one more thing to sort out but like you say it’s life!

    How are you doing Jade? Mama G is still very proud of you and please don’t weaken or do a U turn. This lady is not for turning!!!

  4. Yep Andy very very cold and Mama welcomed him in to the family and didn’t mind him not being Chinese like some traditional Chinese mothers would. That was the very least he could have done and it would not have cost a penny except a bit of humanity and compassion. It shows I truly didn’t mean much to him and obviously don’t now but that is ok, it is the final nail in the coffin, if I had any lingering regrets, longings for how it was, they are crushed forever. His selfishness and brutality inadvertently gave me back my freedom and happiness, I don’t think him for the hurt and pain but I thank my lucky starts I had a narrow escape. Imagine lying on your deathbed and realising all along you’d married the wrong man who was a cold monster and a control freak who practised emotional abuse on you like a Master. Why didn’t I get the hell out? Cos I didn’t realise at the time that was what was happening, I just knew I was very very unhappy to the point of being clinically depressed. Do you know the Chinese saying? ‘Obsevers see clearly while you are surrounded by fog’!

    How are things with you? Haven’t read a post from you for ages? Busy?? How’s the kid?

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