scream

shafts of sunlight flood the room

wherein lays a woman

buried under the duvet

in an underground tunnel

hibernating doing nothing

being nothing feeling nothing

emptiness hopelessness personified

the heat of the sunlight slight breeze

does nothing to unthaw her frozen heart

she dared not feel

the pain would be excruciating unbearable

the shutters down fortress walls up

moat circling with deadly crocs

approach at your risk

 

key turns in the lock front door bangs

familiar voice drifts up shouting hi mum

signal to emerge from the burrow

pretend to be normal and sane

play the role of responsible parent

time for the daily farce

hi darling how was school

oh you know so so

so what time did you get up mum

oh 10

are you sure

alright then just after noon

so why are you still in your jim jams

want a cuppa love

 

I know she knows she knows I know that she knows but we carry on the lie because the alternative is far more scary!

 

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About cho wan yau

Teacher by day poet/writer by night. Words have been my first love and will be my last. As a child I locked myself into the toilet devouring books which transported me to distant lands. Poetry shared penned from 2009-2010 in a titanic struggle to stay sane at Heartbreak Hotel. Please check it out on chowanyau@wordpress.com. Any comments or feedback welcome. Why not share your story with me, because we all have one, don't we?

Posted on December 14, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I wonder how daughter was able to carry on when I’d expect the pain would have been just as great for her?
    How old was she? =\

    • 14 with the recurrence and 15 when we split up. That is why I’m very proud of her; how very strong and well balanced she turned out,. Though I would have spared her the pain at any cost in fact it has toughen her up and prepare her for adversities she will encounter in her own life.

      • So true… very true. She must be one hell of a woman.
        You obviously did a lot right, Mama G… ❤

  2. No I did a lot wrong. In retrospect I shouldn’t have ranted and raved at her dad in front of her, I should have considered her feelings more and handled my own hurt and anger better. My depression pulled her down too and for a while we were both stuck in a rut; that I feel guilty about. At times she was forced to be the parent as her mum couldn’t functioin which was unfair. Yet she doesn’t hold any of this against me. Yep she is one hell of a young woman.

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