The watch keeps ticking but the wearer has all but stopped functioning.

I now know the answer as to who would go first, mum or dad.

You know those films that start with the family all in black by the graveside, well that was me the other day.

I counted twelve women in the waiting room.  The statistics then was 1 in 12 would be diagnosed with breast cancer, it could be you and it was me.  I never win anything, not in raffles or the lottery, but I got the grand prize, the big C, not once but twice.

If I had collected all the tears shed in the past decade it would fill an ocean.

Where have all the good men gone?  Plenty of fish in the sea, I must have been looking in the wrong one.  Not that I am really looking.

Some things should never be said.  Don’t grow up like your mum but like your auntie.  It’s not your cancer that will kill you but your jealousy.  Nobody can be as poor as you.  When I married you, I just went with the flow, I was too young, I didn’t know what I wanted, now I know.  I stood by you all these years waiting for you to change.  Your recurrence meant I couldn’t concentrate on turning the business round.  If you come home I will make your life hell.

Don’t you hate people who give you cheesy meaningless advice such as Life goes on, Count your blessings, Think of those worse off, Life isn’t fair, Do you think you are so special, the only one suffering, You are middle aged now, don’t take things so seriously, be more philosophical.

I love my solitude, in fact I thrive on it.  I love doing my own thing, making my own decisions, being me.  At least when shit hits the fan there is no one to blame but me.

Sometimes the goodies turn out to be baddies and vice versa and sometimes we are good and bad to different people in different circumstances and a different stage in our life.  I could think of a different word for different or look up Roget’s Thesaurus but I can’t be bothered.  Is that bad?



About cho wan yau

Teacher by day poet/writer by night. Words have been my first love and will be my last. As a child I locked myself into the toilet devouring books which transported me to distant lands. Poetry shared penned from 2009-2010 in a titanic struggle to stay sane at Heartbreak Hotel. Please check it out on chowanyau@wordpress.com. Any comments or feedback welcome. Why not share your story with me, because we all have one, don't we?

Posted on December 18, 2013, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. I really like your attitude in this post…Also about men…I’ve been asking myself this question: Do I really want a man in my life? If so he better make it better and not worse.

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