Where have all the good men gone

They say there is plenty of fish in the sea, really?  I must have been looking in the wrong one.  Maybe there are but honestly would you want them?  Surely by my age the good uns, the ones you would have dared to take home to see Mother are all snapped up and if their woman has any sense will be keeping them on a tight leash.  No takeover possible.

And the ones available will generally fall under three categories: never married and you have to wonder why, widowed, still pining for their one true love and separated/divorced. The trouble with going out with a man going through separation is he may very well realise the error of his ways and reunite with wifey dearest.  Even if he met you after the initial separation you are still technically ‘The Other Woman’, to be despised and villified by the injured party and the offsprings.  Worse still they may not really be separated and are actually happily married and he is just selling you the ‘my wife doesn’t understand me’ line.

If they are divorced they still have to pay alimony.  If there are children that is worse, he will have the financial burden of supporting them till they reach the legal age of being an adult.  If you marry he’ll have two families to fork out for, unless he is a billionaire you are always going to be arguing about money.  You also run the risk of being Mrs Rebound.

You single women out there, listen up, we won’t die without a man but we will without food or means to support ourselves.  You can be happy, repeat after me, you can be happy and live a fulfilled, meaningful life single.  Love comes in all shapes and sizes and from unexpected places and not always with the pretty wrapping.  It doesn’t have to be the man falls madly in love with woman ride off into the sunset and live happily after variety.  Anyway you know and I know ladies that that is the biggest and most insiduous lie of all time, since records began.  We are brainwashed, sold this lie constantly from movies, songs, media, advertising etc etc.

There is no happy after and fairy tale, no fairy godmother to wave the magic wand and turn the toad into a prince, only struggle, pain, hurt and if you are very lucky a good honest guy who will stick by you through thick and thin and last the distance.  Otherwise when the going gets tough the tough get going.

Not that I am looking mind, just saying.

About cho wan yau

Teacher by day poet/writer by night. Words have been my first love and will be my last. As a child I locked myself into the toilet devouring books which transported me to distant lands. Poetry shared penned from 2009-2010 in a titanic struggle to stay sane at Heartbreak Hotel. Please check it out on chowanyau@wordpress.com. Any comments or feedback welcome. Why not share your story with me, because we all have one, don't we?

Posted on December 21, 2013, in Relationships and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Need and Want. Took me years to differentiate between the two. Well said.

  2. This post is really up my alley. I am currently writing a novel on the prince charming myth, titled The Dating Club where women discuss their dates, how their relationship with their fathers affects their love life and most importantly their career goals.
    There are still good men around. The trouble is finding the right one.

  3. If you know of any. Carol, truly single and available without too much baggage literally and metaphorically please send them my way. Wearing ‘The Other Woman’s ‘ Hat wouldn’t suit me, never been and never will be; wouldn’t want to hurt another woman, break the hearts of the kids. Abiding principle treat others as you would like to be treated.

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