I used to be

I used to be a perfectionist
till I lost my mind
I used to be an idealist
till reality punched me in the face
I used to believe in love
till it ran out
I used to trust
till betrayal bit me on the bum
I used to believe in God
till He too abandoned me

Now
I
adrift
among
debris
of past
uncertain
present
believe
trust
no one
plans
foolish
optimism
misguided

Yet
never
felt
so
free
zero
expectations
zilch
disappointment
che sera sera
let it be
laissez faire
if
love
should
find
me
I
would
invite
it
in
no
big
deal

Advertisements

About cho wan yau

Teacher by day poet/writer by night. Words have been my first love and will be my last. As a child I locked myself into the toilet devouring books which transported me to distant lands. Poetry shared penned from 2009-2010 in a titanic struggle to stay sane at Heartbreak Hotel. Please check it out on chowanyau@wordpress.com. Any comments or feedback welcome. Why not share your story with me, because we all have one, don't we?

Posted on January 7, 2014, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Even a wandering feather travels the wind, To find a place of peace. You will find yours, soon..! have faith..

  2. I love the idea of the wandering feather Andy, thanks. I think I have found my place of peace and acceptance. Though the poem appears negative and full of disillusionment, that is not how I want it read. It is more about a rite of passage, kind of being forced to grow up and face reality rather than being rather naive and seeing the world and people with rose tinted glasses and coming to a reluctant acceptance of who I am flaws and all.

    How are things with you? I haven’t seen many posts from you recently? How’s the kid?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: