Rent a husband

There must be a gap in the market for Rent-a husband.  Certainly I could do with one.  Being a single middle aged woman I often need the services of a man, a real man, with bulging biceps and agile fingers!  No, you filthy minds, not that kind of service.  Mundane things like DIY, carry heavy bags of dog food from the supermarket, climb a ladder and clean the outside of windows, down a beer with me in public so I don’t look like an alchoholic and occasionally watch a movie in the cinema so strangers won’t think I’m Billy No Mates!  It gets kinda boring dining out alone even if it is a simple bowl of wanton noodle soup.  I am a sucker for the candlelight, red roses, champagne and violin player serenading at the dining table while the beloved gazes adoringly into your eyes.  Well that’s never gonna happen.  Never did and never will. 

There’s a film out from the Mainland about a company which makes customers’ dreams come true.  They stage everything and role play to tailor make the fantasy.  In fact the English Title is ‘Personal Tailor’.  What a brilliant idea.  Even if it doesn’t happen organically we can make it happen, just hand over your hard earned cash.  We the Chinese worship money and believe in its power.  There’s very little that money can’t buy or fix.  The universally known New Year’s Greeting, ‘Kung Hei Fat Choy’ literally means wish you come into a fortune, that is either make a lot of money from business or work or come into money.  This is priority followed by health and safety.

If you have a husband for loan you know where I am. 

 

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About cho wan yau

Teacher by day poet/writer by night. Words have been my first love and will be my last. As a child I locked myself into the toilet devouring books which transported me to distant lands. Poetry shared penned from 2009-2010 in a titanic struggle to stay sane at Heartbreak Hotel. Please check it out on chowanyau@wordpress.com. Any comments or feedback welcome. Why not share your story with me, because we all have one, don't we?

Posted on February 3, 2014, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. husband for loan.. lol I love you already 🙂

  2. even put in a tender and make it competitive and send in pics cos we don’t wanna have to watch an ugly man put up shelves do we?

  3. Hilarious! Feeling better, I take it? 🙂

  4. I’m so glad I’m not the only one that has had this thought before!! Sometimes I just need to rent a guy to handle a chore or be seen in public with me! 😉

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