I trusted you

to have my back

be there


would have


a bullet for








to see

the best in


did not

return the favour

fault finding

in all I did

When I needed




to swim or sink



in many guises

not just infidelity

I  thought


would be the

last man standing

I offered


my heart




is not

just another


About cho wan yau

Teacher by day poet/writer by night. Words have been my first love and will be my last. As a child I locked myself into the toilet devouring books which transported me to distant lands. Poetry shared penned from 2009-2010 in a titanic struggle to stay sane at Heartbreak Hotel. Please check it out on Any comments or feedback welcome. Why not share your story with me, because we all have one, don't we?

Posted on February 5, 2014, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. this is so sad, but it does happens to everyone, even that one person we trust will never hurts us, probably will. Is this something that just happened or an old poem?

  2. I know how you feel. The ex-husband tossed me over for a younger more-tolerant-of-bullshit model, and his timing couldn’t have been better.

    • Yep they are always the younger model, mine by 10 years! I think the fact she is Eastern European and doesn’t speak English that well keeps the fantasy alive. My trouble is I spoke it too well and was too articulate and had the audacity to have a brain and not afraid to use it.

      Some men are ‘intimidated’ by strong women, which says more about them. Mine felt the need to belittle me in order to feel big. Now all I feel is pity.

      How did you overcome your trust issues lady?

      • Yep. Mine was intimidated too, so he put me down – which made more intimidating. It was nasty. Truth be told, him leaving was best thing that could have happened. I would have stayed for the kids.
        It took a LONG time to get over trust issues, and I can’t really take credit for it. I think I just decided that I was either going to believe or call it quits, because anything else was a waste of our lives. She also decided to actively give me reasons to depend on her. That’s why this one’s working out now. Five years ago, I was ready to be done.

      • Sadly I did the opposite and just shut up and became a doormat. Can you imagine??

        Are you in a gay relationship now, as I note you say ‘she’? I often think it would be a lot easier to love a woman. I am happy you had the courage to love again. I am at the crossroads; whether to give up on Love altogether or to leave the door open should someone right turn up.

      • I am now married to a woman. I’m not sure about easier to love a woman but definitely easier to want to work through the trust issues instead of give up. And that may just have more to do with the two people I’ve spent my adult life with irrespective of either’s gender.
        I’d love to chat with you sometimes without everything we say being out for public consumption. Email me at, if you’re open to that.
        I’m starved after kung fu and doing laundry too. More later. And my vote is for leaving the door open on love.

      • Great minds think alike, I was thinking that we should talk in more depth in a slightly more private space too. I doubt the NSA or MI5 are interested in small fish like me.

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