I’m an ordinary human being just like you.  I have had a rough few years but I won’t bore you.  I’ve settled in Hong Kong for 9 months now.  It’s a return to my roots; I was born in a hamlet near the Chinese University.  By co-incidence I now live near there so I feel my life has come full circle.

Why take the leap from the dark, moving my meagre belongings from London where I grew up to my birth place?  Let’s just say to start a new life.  You are free to read between the lines.  Anyhow, I thought it’d be fun to write a blog about life in HK told from a Banana’s point of view.

Let me decode.  Bananas are yellow on the outside and white inside.  I am Chinese and look the look but don’t walk the walk.  Having grown up in London the local culture and way of thinking has rubbed off on me.  I would fit in very well in the ex-pat community.  Certainly answers to my problems with mosquitoes and ants and where to buy things can all be found on their forum.

On the other hand my darker skin and command of Cantonese gives me unprecedented access to the locals who would otherwise be wary.  They are honest in sharing their daily challenges.  I see my role as an impartial observer or journalist, reporting the Hong Kong behind the facade of wealth and stability.

Among the HK posts are poems mainly written between 2009-2010 in a titanic struggle to come to terms with a prolonged stay at Heartbreak Hotel.

I welcome any questions, comments or feedback.  It would be great to hear from you.

All writings on this blog are mine and protected unless stated otherwise.  

©2013  Cho Wan Yau

  1. Hi Chowanyau.

    Firstly, thanks for dropping by my blog. Secondly, thanks for writing such an interesting blog yourself. You’ve faced challenges that would make a grown man cry, by the sounds of things. It fascinates me to read impressions on other places from a non-local point of view. And for you, it’ll be interesting to read back in a year or two and see just how far you’ve come and what you’ve become used to. These blogs make great diaries, yes?

    I love reading my own one about my first impressions of India – particularly because that was the first time I’d ever left my own country. But I’m a sucker for punishment and keep going to to one part of Asia or another – aside from the many discomforts, it’s just so stimulating (for want of a better description) to go and throw yourself outside your own comfort zone and see how well you survive, again. This time (September) I’m taking my partner over to Chiang Mai – he’s never been to Asia, so I will get to see things through his fresh eyes. Nice.

    Take care and keep writing.

    • Thanks raveburble, I’m v excited as you the first person I don’t know in real life to comment on my blog. We budding writers all thirst for a wider readership otherwise why blog it. Yep nobody can accuse me of having led a boring life. Maybe a fitting epitaph would be ‘Here Lies Cho Wan Yau who had been hell and back, not quite in one piece but almost.’ Breast cancer recurrence, divorce, depression, heart failure from chemo. Been there done that got the T-shirt. Yet the tough old bird still can’t be killed off. What will it take? The human spirit is indeed resilient and the will to live virtually unbreakable.

      I’ll definitely look up your blogs on India. I haven’t been myself, the idea of beggars lining the streets and children having had their limbs amputated by evil bastards to go begging would upset me too much. Maybe I’m wrong and India is not like that at all, please do enlighten me.

      Yes my blog is half diary/self therapy and personal observations of life here. I guess I have a unique perspective being Chinese and born here but also a banana, having been brought up in London and living there most of my life till now. Both a return to my roots and a new beginning. Kill two birds with one stone. I have always lived with the dichotomy of being piggy in the middle between the clash of cultures. East vs. West. Where do I really belong? In Britain where I had all my formative years and landmarks, where friends and family are or here in Hong Kong amongst my people.

      By the way I loved your blog replying to 23 Thorns’ questions on living in tiny houses. I didn’t even know there was such a term. His blogs are also highly amusing. Humour has been my lifeline, being able to laugh at the absurdities of life and people’s behaviour. I was lying feeling sorry for myself at the Royal Marsden Cancer Hospital, having just had my left boob chopped off, ostensibly to save my life, when a really posh voice drifted over, ‘Would you like to go to ‘Look good, feel better?’ I laughed. Yeah, why not? Things couldn’t get any worse, surely? Posh voice cos it is near Chelsea in London. Only time I could afford to stay there with room service three times a bed and surgery thrown in, on the house, thanks to the wonderful institution of the NHS.

      Sorry this has turned into a blog of sorts. Take care Cho Wan x

      P.S. If you ever head this way, do look me up. NZ is one of those places I will go visit before I die!

  2. Ni hao. [Is that the right greeting for Cantonese/Hong Kong folks?]

    I like the banana explanation:) And, it pains me to hear/read about your sufferings. I think that sounds better than saying “Sorry” which makes no sense to me when people say, “Sorry to hear that.” If they are sorry to hear that, does that mean they wish they had not asked or poked their nose where it didn’t belong, too?

    I wonder if Cho Wan–sounding like Cho-sen in a small way–might be the path you are on as you sort out where you belong (as do I).

    • Oh, and I was just curious why you picked “Gorgeous” for your online identity. I would guess to boost your suffering confidence? I could be wrong.

      • Why? Cos I am. No seriously you are on the money. If you lose your breast to cancer at the tender age of 36 then it comes back for seconds almost 10 years later and your nearest and dearest abandons you in the middle of your gruelling chemo treatment and subsequently dumps you for good and to top it all you almost die from heart failure two years later, your heart muscle having been damaged from the chemo, well, then you’ll understand why my ego needs boosting. He’s now madly in love with a younger woman by 10 years and with the full set of boobs. He has written and self published a volume of love poetry to her on Kindle/Amazon. She is his soulmate; so what the hell was i for 18 years?

      • On that note…I don’t know how you survive. I think that would pretty much break me down to nothing, too. Isn’t that sickening? To watch everyone you know publishing this and that from their own telling of what has happened or how they fantasize about it…yet there may be others right around the corner waiting to throw blood or mud because they know the other half of the story or simply seek vengeance on that writer. It sounds like he might be focused solely on her boobs. You certainly have a Western perspective/vocabulary:P I didn’t think you that old. What I can see of you in a picture looks very small…with what might be a glass of wine and a pizza? I wish I knew how to make you feel better.

      • that’s easy how about holiday in bahamas 5 star hotel? just kidding i’m not that shallow. Btw what you wrote is ‘how are you’ in Mandarin, which is kinda appropriate since HK is now officially back with the Motherland. ‘One country two systems’ is how China gets round the rather awkward question of why the black sheep of the family doesn’t have to tow the party line. Of course China wouldn’t want to kill the goose that lays the golden egg. HK has been taken over by the Mainlanders, just by sheer volume and spending power. HK has always been overcrowded but in the streets all you hear is Mandarin, where have all the locals gone??

        HK seems to have lost its soul, too clean, modern and clinical. I was last here in 1996 just before the Handover. I miss that ‘old’ HK, seemed to have more ‘life’ and I don’t mean the frentic pace.

        Yes well spotted that is indeed a glass of dry white wine, my preferred poison and a pizza, well I was in Rome with my daughter; our treat after all the shit. He supported her for a while, then buggered off to Bulgaria to be with his ‘soulmate’ and apart from a few months’ rent has not supported her since. Used to be a great dad, now not even that. Karma. What goes around comes around …

        Just out of curiosity why would you want to make me feel better? How old do you think I am? Yeah my daughter was being kind, she took the pic creating a soft blurry focus …

      • Ni hao means “How are you?” in Mandarin? I thought it was simply “Hi” in some form of Chinese. I hate when people ask me “How are you?” because 1) I usually don’t have a nice answer beyond a thin mask of “I’m okay” and 2) they probably don’t want to hear the full truth:P

        HK sounds like Dubai. It also sounds a bit like Sicily to Italy. Sicily is regarded with contempt by those from the mainland…why? I may never understand but am sure it’s some outdated thinking. I don’t trust places ruled by money or dominated by wealthy “lords”. It makes me feel like Robin Hood in Nottingham. I am sure they would post a wanted poster for me the moment I speak up against them.

        I like the idea of rural China if it can survive and provide. I am a city boy, but I like watching movies with rural Chinese/Japanese scenes…peaceful villages and cherry blossom trees…flute music…paper lanterns…tea rooms with paper doors…aaaaah 🙂 And, of course, lovely Asian women.

        I do not like “frenetic” paces…I may be from the city, but I don’t necessarily enjoy the haste/waste. I am happiest at the beach or in the forest.

        Preferred poison:P I have tasted many wines but have yet to find one I thoroughly enjoy. They always seem to give me heart aches…I wonder if that’s a metaphor knocking at my door. I loooooove pizza, though. So, when I saw you were Asian and sitting by what looked like a pizza, I was in love:D hehe

        Ah, a daughter in the mix, as well. The plot with that ex who chased the boobs of his “soul” thickens.

        Buggered off…ah, British lingo:P

        I think he simply wanted a clean break and didn’t–like so many–know how to say, “I can’t and won’t do this any longer. I want a fresh start.” And, all the emotional turmoil that goes with that. Be careful with karma. We shouldn’t even dare to wish ill of others even if they hurt our cores. Let karma deal with karma.

        I guess I was saddened by your words and wanted to make you feel better lest my opinions rub you the wrong way–as they often do when approaching strangers online (which only makes me more nervous about speaking up in person!).

        You stated you were in your mid-30’s just a moment ago. I suspect you aren’t much older than that now.

      • I see you have glossed over the ‘bahamas’ bit. I never said I was in my mid-30’s; my daughter is 20 so that would make me a single teenage mother. Since you are being a P.I. try to work out my age. Yes indeed ‘buggered off’ is British slang and I possessed the much sought after British passport, though they are technically EU ones. You say I have western attitudes and lingo, well that is not surprising since I’ve been ‘contaminated’ since the tender age of 8.

        Just out of interest how did you find me and which of my words made you ‘sad’? If you are ‘sad’ just reading a synopsis imagine how I felt going through it all within the short space of a few years; all biggies in their own right. They say the death of a spouse ranks top in the stress-o-meter; well divorce is no different, we have to go through the grieving process because it is a huge loss that touches every aspect of your life and psyche.

        Not bad huh for a girl who couldn’t speak a word of English when she landed at Heathrow except,’a man is not a pen and a pen is not a man.’ I kid you not.

        Btw you are not one of those scammers on fb are you who target sad lonely divorcees nursing a broken heart?

      • Yes, I did gloss over the Bahamas joke. I am not a sugar daddy. And, I am not in a jesting mood so much.

        You are confusing me. You are with a guy for 18 years…your daughter is 20…you DID say you had breast C at “the tender age of 36″…he left you for a gal 10 years younger…so what is the fricken truth?!

        I found you under one of the TOPIC categories I clicked. Not sure which one now. My sadness is wiped away by bitter confusion and the feeling of being deceived. Unless you mean to say you were pregnant in your teens BEFORE you married, divorced, and had the breast issues…which still puts you in your late 30’s/early 40’s…and I am not sure where the teenage mother aspect came into focus.

        If you were a teenage mother who divorced someone after 18 years, it wasn’t a short span.

        Divorce is a form of emotional death. Some get stuck in denial. Some refuse to let go. Some say they remain friends…and get married again? Highly unlikely to last.

        Uh, no. Think what you will because you don’t know me anymore than I know you…but I avoid that website like the plague. And, I have better things to do than sit around scamming or trying to hack someone’s PC. I am not a tech idiot doped up on cleaning supplies and F bombing everyone he meets.

      • Sorry just a grammatical mistake, I should have made it clearer. What I meant was if I am in my mid-thirties now and my daughter is 20 then that would have made me a teenager when I gave birth. I had breast cancer for the first time at 36, then 10 years later suffered the recurrence and it was when I had recovered from that that he called time in 2008. I have been officially divorced since 2010.

        I did not mean to offend you with the fb scammer comment. It is just my black humour. Apart from courage, inner strength, a sense of humour has helped me survive. The bahamas joke is just that, a joke. Again no offence meant and no I don’t think you are a sugar daddy. Your comments so far show a sensitive, caring well travelled person who possesses a high degree of emotional and intellectual intelligence. It would be great if we could stay in touch and be friends and cheer each other on in our writing.

      • Black humor often masks a genuine concern from experience. I can only imagine what you’ve heard or encountered online.

        I have met too many single mothers in similar shoes.

        I haven’t dealt with what you have, yet I can agree that humor is a saving grace. My grandmother suffers from dementia horribly. And, if she didn’t have her sense of humor still intact, I suspect she’d pull her own plug somehow.

        I have never desired going to the Bahamas or any pleasure place without love. I am more interested in Europe and the Far East. I am not saying I never would want to see the Bahamas, though. And, yes, I did put up a guard/shield with the mention of gold diggers/sugar daddies as I have encountered a few (both the women who seek them and the men who say they are them). I can be as bitter/sharp as I can be sensitive. That is MY curse…to be my own worst enemy on two sides of the astrological coin. Well traveled?:P HA! No. Not yet, anyway. But, that’s a personal matter I prefer to discuss privately. And, as for my intelligence, that is always in question when I fail to do much with it for whatever reason.

        I read something recently by someone who spoke the same way. They said they had been labeled smart/intelligent but had found no proper outlet for that intelligence. Thus, it felt pointless or inaccurate for a label. Likewise, I no longer take pride in being called intelligent. Because my “advice” does not come from experience as much as it comes from my opinions/thoughts given to the matter. And, I have met plenty more advanced/faster than I.

        I will give the friendship some thought. But, from my recent experiences, I have little faith in the outcome.

      • If you can see my email address or click a CONTACT button, you can write me there. I may get into more personal thoughts/details that way rather than putting everything out in public space. This site lacks a mailbox.

      • sent you test email but don’t know if it has gone to the right place.

      • Btw you have got the wrong end of the stick regarding the Mainlander’ view of HK. On the contrary they love HK too much, that is why they are flooding the city and buying out the shops. It’s because only the very rich or important officials could visit before 1997.

      • Well, that sounds like Dubai. It’s a wealthy beyond wealthy little “burg” that started with a man’s dream around the time I was born. And, somehow, it’s become this sink hole of wealth. I sometimes wonder if Tiger Wood’s marriage didn’t suffer somehow from his time spent in such places. I heard he was able to hit golf balls off their tallest tower. That’s a strange luxury for a golfer.

  3. Hi Cho Wan Yau, Thank you so much for following my blog, I hope you’ll enjoy your visits 🙂

    • Np I’m sure I will. A man who is not afraid to share his feelings is a beautiful and rare thing. The very thing the lack of destroyed our marriage. I never knew him because he never shared his vulnerability. How old is your child? It can’t be easy being a single parent. Where are your parents from? I’m guessing you live in the States. I would welcome your comments on my blog. The best thing about being here is the connection we make with people all over the world and the conversations we hold.

      • Communication is key, An union of two should always be open to each other. No matter how bad things get, there should be an understanding of why and how. Without it, It doesn’t work. Sorry you had to endured such pain, I remember my divorce like it was yesterday still, thank you for your sweet compliment, means a lot to me to hear that. 🙂

        My sweet little lady is 12 and believe me, It’s not easy. Communications with my ex spouse are tedius and my daughter gets caught in between but it is so worth it all Though, so I can still see my daughter on the weekends,
        I’m not sure I’m ready for the upcoming preteen tantrums gah! :O

      • Well you survived the terrible twos. Just wait till her hormones play havoc and she suffers growing pains too. When you said you were a single dad I thought you had her full time. Weekends is good, you get to spend quality time and leave mum to do the boring stuff like supervise homework and curfew.

        12? You don’t look old enough. Me I wouldn’t be without my 20 yr old daughter for love or money.

        I don’t think we ever forget the person we fell in love with and married nor the sadness when it didnt work out for whatever reason.

        Tediousness is a small price to pay to have a part in your daughter’s upbringing and seeing her grow.

      • lol I love that thought, Yes. My ex does keep a schedule of when my daughter sleeps and homework etc so that there’s more time for me and my daughter to have some ‘us’ time. I love that 🙂

        Yep, my little lady is 12 and thank you for yet again another sweet compliment! I am actually 37, Married my ex when I was in my early 20’s and a year later we had our beautiful angel delivered to us, Yeah. different times.

        No, we certainly don’t forget the person we fell in love with but at times I do wonder where that person went and how much has changed, so quickly too. You know?

      • At the end mine became a stranger, an alien, he looked the same, sounded the same, even smelt the same but he came out with such nonsense and outright lies. And now as far as I am concerned he is ‘dead’, he may as well be, because that person I fell in love with and would have died for certainly doesn’t exist.
        I still grapple with the question whether someone can change beyond recognition or he had always been like that and I was blinded by love or it was an oscar winning performance.

      • I guess we never really know for sure, Until they eventually reveal themselves to us. If everyone stayed genuine we would never know heartache.

      • Wouldn’t that be cool

      • I can certainly hope 🙂

      • oh and sorry for missing your question, I actually live in Vancouver, Canada 🙂

      • Vancouver beautiful, been there, prefer it to Toronto. Almost married man in Toronto, almost.

  4. Thank you so much for visiting and following me 🙂
    It means a lot to me 🙂
    Thanks again 🙂 🙂

  5. Hello!

    I just followed back your blog, which is very interesting.
    Anyway, I think you should delete this part:

    “This is an example of a page. Unlike posts, which are displayed on your blog’s front page in the order they’re published, pages are better suited for more timeless content that you want to be easily accessible, like your About or Contact information. Click the Edit link to make changes to this page or add another page”

    It is supposed to be deleted once the blog owner rewrite the “about” page.

    It will also be okay to delete or not approve this comment once you finish reading it.

    • thanx Hari I tried to delete but am too dumb. Can you tell me how pls. Thanx for following back my blog. Where do you live and are you Chinese?

      • First, You need to access this page in “edit mode”, not “view mode”.
        Then, simply highlight the first (default) paragraph and then “delete” it.
        Save the page (click the “update” button) and check the result.
        It should work! 😀
        (Many people forget to delete this part, so don’t call yourself dumb. L-O-L!)
        I am an Indonesian born Chinese. I live in North Sumatra, Indonesia.

  6. Hey cheers. Basically it is the same as what you do in the post, now why didn’t I think of that? That’s why I’m dumb. IT and computer literacy is as natural as breathing to you youngsters like my daughter can do wonderful things at lightning speed and she’s supposed to be showing me how.

    When I went to school there weren’t computers and I typed my univ dissertation on a typewriter, yes, you heard me right, a typewriter. I bet you haven’t even seen a typewriter except in a museum. Yep I’m that old. Kids now wouldn’t be able to imagine a world without computers, but it existed and we all lived ha ha.

    Maybe I should write a post about the good and ills of IT.

    Indonesia huh never been but would love to. Recommendations? Have to save up pennies first.

    What Chinese dialect do you speak and where were your parents from originally? I speak native Cantonese and my Manadarin can be understood and I understand Hakka but can’t speak it very well.

    Good to make new friends and hold a conversation and learn from one another.

    • If you plan to visit Indonesia, you should try Bali first.
      It is very tourist-friendly. it can be enjoyed in many different levels of affordability. it also has many different things to offer (a very important thing, especially if you travel with a group of friends who have different interests).

      I speak Hokkian in our Chinese community. I think of it as our “Ghetto language”. Chinese folks living in different parts of Indonesia have their own “ghetto languages”.

      My ancestors came from Guangzhou. Obviously, I am a Cantonese. 😀
      I do understand Cantonese because I sometimes speak it, mostly at home.
      Well, I can watch Cantonese movies and TV series without subtitles. L-O-L!
      I also speak a bit of Mandarin. I took Mandarin classes when I was a kid.

      English is not my first language. If You find anything funny or weird in my writings, please do not hesitate to ask. 😀

      Nice to know you!
      We have something in common.
      I enjoy discussing and learn new things, just as you do. 😀

      • Thanks for the info, always good to make new friends. My mum is from Guangzhou so we grew up speaking Cantonese and dad speaks Hakka, he was born in Hong Kong where we were born.

        I will have to save up my $ and pay a visit to Bali, now I live in HK and am a lot nearer.

        Chat l8ter.

  7. Beautiful,honest , and heartfelt blog! I’m so glad you found me. Now I can enjoy your writing and inspirational spirit!

    • Such kind words, I’m not sure I deserve them but thank you nevertheless. I write because I need to, because it is free therapy, clarifies my thoughts and helps me make sense of what appears irrational and random and I have always been in love with words.

      Words are incredibly potent, they can incite hate and cause deaths but also have the potential to heal and bring about peace and solace.

      We need to use them wisely.

      I don’t write to be inspirational, I write my blog to share my experience, to reach out and connect with others and if by so doing it resonates and makes someone feel less alone or desperate then nothing would make me happier.

      I used to think you had to do heroic things like Martin Luther King to make a difference but we humble ordinary folks can too just with tiny acts of kindness in our boring bit of the globe. Spread the love. We all need to love and be loved.

  8. I understand to a point about being a banana. It is pity that society has isolated us into groups that we have to live with. Myself, I am a Jew and that has brought out the prejudice in others. Most of it is under the covers so you never know if you did not get the job because of the nose on your face, or lose the promotion because you checked Jewish as the ethnic question. Yes, I know you could leave it blank, but that gets you the raised eyebrows. And you could I guess lie. The worse was a bar/eatery I went to in South Dakota which had a sign up No N. No Jews and No Catholics will be served here. I just walked out and did not say anything. By the way my nephew is in the process of studying your language. If you would be agreeable can you send a couple of pictures of the city to me and I will see he gets them. My email address is awax@tampabay,rr.com. Thanks and I will continue reading your blog as I find it interesting.

    • Thanks for your reply. I agree with what you say about discrimination, it permeates at every level and is definitely institutionalised but no one will admit it cos it is not pc.

      I’ve more against me cos i’m chinese and a woman. In HK i’m chinese like all the rest but a corrupted version, tainted by western values and upbringing. They will tolerate a certain amount of oddity but I can’t be too ‘different’ because that will rock the boat, threaten the very fabric of their beliefs of what a middle aged chinese woman is supposed to be. How she dresses, conducts herself in public, what and how she talks …

      I’m not sure what u mean about sending u pics of the city? HK? You can always gets pics if you google search HK.

      Is your son learning to speak Cantonese or Mandarin? Mandarin is essential in Mainland China but Cantonese is the local dialect in HK.

  9. Light then I will accept your kind words graciously. I’m so used to being put down, feeling not good enough that compliments are alien and takes a bit of getting used to.

    How are you?

  10. I lived near HK for ten years, in Guangzhou. HK is such a wonderful city. I will be praying for you, my heart goes out to u coz u lost your mom. Hugs….

  11. Glad you liked my recent block. Some of the comments on yours appear a little aggressive. A little like you should not say certain things. It is your blog so say what you will. If people do not like it they should not read it. Your life is interesting with a different twist. Where my wife and I reside in winter haven, florida, we are shut off from the roar of the world. We like it that way.

    • Thanks for the support. I agree. I don’t think there are absolutes. Right, wrong, the truth. whose and who gets to judge? I just express my opinion which is shaped by my experience.

  12. Teo Hoon Seong alias Cheong Wen Seong

    Hong Kong sounds exactly like Singapore right down to the attitudes towards children, work and Filipino maids.

    And shopping.

    Yours is the first blog I’ve ever commented on. It’s because I am also a Chinese woman in her forties who was born and raised in the Far East. And then moved over to the UK. And am now a single mother. Who is considering returning to her roots.

    • Ah we are long separated twins then. I am also a single mother although my daughter is 20, fiercely independent and doesn’t need looking after. So I am free to have my own adventure. Personally I am glad to have made the leap in the dark, it has turned out to be the best thing for me, a brand new start, a new chapter etc. The fact that I have very few friends and no family here may be daunting to others but in fact I love it, it means I have no obligations or constraints and can do as I pleae. I love it. Feel free to ask me more questions about my move. Good luck with whatever decision you make.

    • Then we are twins! How old are your children? That would be the major consideration, regarding schools and leaving their friends and what is familiar behind. Social network? Family and friends back in Singapore? Would you be able to find a job easily? Sorry if I am stating the obvious.

      For me it was the best thing I could have done and I love it. Lifted me from depression and given me a new lease of life and a new beginning full of possibilities. Good luck with whatever you decide. Do keep in touch and we can trade stories.

  13. Sorry for repeating I thought the first reply hadn’t worked.

  14. My children are nine and thirteen and a half. Both girls. Both refusing to learn any Cantonese which is a bit sad.

    My entire family is still in Singapore. That is one of the reasons I am considering returning.

    One of your posts made me nostalgic. You talked about hard boiled red eggs. I remember those too!

    Actually a lot of your posts resonated. Especially about the old beliefs regarding the value of boys.

    Yes I shall continue to comment here. I’m glad I found your blog.

    I am a Hokkian by the way, but my maternal line is Cantonese

    • Welcome long lost twin, I am glad we found each other, oh the magic of blogging! If I were you. I’d go for it, especially as all your family are back home. The reason you are in UK is no longer valid, right?

      Personally in your situation I would methodically tie up the loose ends and make plans to move back to Singapore. You will have the support of your extended family and the kids will get to know their grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins etc.

      Don’t worry about them not speaking Cantonese, mine doesn’t either, my fault, I didn’t have the time nor energy when she was a baby. She wished I had and wants to learn Mandarin. Keep in touch

  15. Btw everybody speaks English in Singapore, far better than in HK, so language is not going to be a problem for your girls. My dad is Hakka and Mama was Cantonese. I speak fluent Cantonese and can understand Hakka and I’ve been told my Mandarin is passable.

    Have you started a blog? This is a great community, fellow bloggers are very supportive and give you good ideas and it is fascinating to read others’ stories/struggles and perspectives on life.

  16. I am so glad our paths have crossed. I am very intrigued by what I am reading, and I look forward to getting to know you better here. Thanks for connecting; all the best to you.

  17. Yes there’s a lot more English spoken but the old chauvinistic attitudes are still in place. It makes me laugh sometimes. I’m a doctor and I was applying for positions in Singapore just to test the water so to speak. But at the top of every personal specification for jobs they put “Male, Chinese speaking” ahead of actual qualifications.

    Wouldn’t that go down a storm in the UK

  18. Anaesthetics and Intensive care.

  19. Thank you for visiting my blog. I am equally glad to have found yours. Everything you said about words is very insightful.

    • thanks for the kind words; you are a very beautiful young woman, with all of the world before you, perfection is unattaintable lily you are more than good enough as you are. don’t let anyone tell you otherwise and least of all yourself. do you know Alanis Morisette’s song, ‘That I would be good’ ? The words are beautiful and poignant

  20. Dear Chowan, Just to wish you a happier and healthier Year of the Horse. The last few years have been a struggle for you. I’m amazed at how strong in spirit you are.Life isn’t always easy.

  21. Just to let you know that I have nominated your blog for the Leibster award: http://yellowmumblog.wordpress.com/2014/01/25/976/

  22. Hello there, nice to found your gorgeous blog. I become your follower now Thank you, success to you

  23. ah ok gr8 thanks for following and the support

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