Category Archives: abandonment

Wish

Wish

I could bottle pain

watch it sail away

capture sadness

let it soar

gather disappointment

see it burn

seek selective amnesia

sieve away the bad

rationalise persuade

erase

yet in the core of my very being

the dull aches keeps throbbing

robbied fobbed off

powerless defenceless

for being mere human

failing to live up to expectations

imperfect flawed unworthy

Wish

Poem a day challenge #16 Mirror

Mirror mirror on the wall

    who’s the saddest of us all

Mirror mirror on the wall

whose reflection

unrecognisable 

blank stare

dead eyes

corpse like

     hint of familiarity 

souless

Mirror mirror on the wall

who’s the loneliest of us all

Shouldn’t but does

 
Shouldn’t but does
 
Shouldn’t bother me but
does you going off to Bulgaria
see a stranger you’ve fallen
in love with prepared to fly all those miles
hire a car other end
 
All these years I have been here 
next to you in bed on the couch
waiting yearning for
you to
communicate
acknowledge
validate my
existence worth sharing
yourself
want to know
who
I am
 
But
you
never did
 
Shouldn’t bother me but
does how you effortlessly
walked away from the past no lingering 
backward glance as if those eighteen years
never happened mattered
 
Are you a good actor
or you really don’t care
devoid of emotions just relieved
rid of irritating inconvenience
 
What does she offer that I
can’t
another delusion infatuation
 
You
may one day come to
your senses mourn the
loss of one who
loved you without reservation
seek and find her
gone
 
For she
will have changed
stronger pain is an
effective teacher no
longer needs nor loves
you
 
Made her live a Lie
crucified everything
she
believed
valued
 
Shouldn’t bother but 
does
you
 
         
 

melancholy

Gorgeous is a little melancholic today, suddening realising that this day 21 years ago she was a beautiful bride in plum silk cheung sam sitting on the love of her life’s knee to take their wedding photo.  It was the  best day of her life followed closely by that early morning half a year later when her beautiful baby came into this world.  Her angel and shining light.  She was beaming from deep within and so was he.

Alas the fairy tale didn’t last; the princess turned into a middle aged cancer survivor/divorcee living with depression and nursing a broken heart literally and emotionally.  Rejection has hit her hard, to the very core of her being and she has had to dig deep, grit her teeth and go on.

loss (2)

like days blown by autumn leaves
swept by the breeze the pebble
sinking to the bottom of the sea
snow melting into the ground
memories edited distorted collected
full circle we have come nothing new
under the sun raging crashing waves
no hidden secret buried deep on the
ocean floor loss smiles beckons a
long lost friend reunited I embrace
thee cease be for you are the fabric
of life men come and go and stuff
what sifts through the giant colander
of time space is what’s worth
holding on family mates life itself

how

stopped asking why
futile
moved on to
how

everybody says move on let go
how

words are easy
meaningless

how
do you get all the pain out
forget the hurt accept loss
begin a new life not mourn the old

how
hold onto the good memories
not permit the end to taint
wring the last drop of love dry

how

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