Category Archives: children

melancholy

Gorgeous is a little melancholic today, suddening realising that this day 21 years ago she was a beautiful bride in plum silk cheung sam sitting on the love of her life’s knee to take their wedding photo.  It was the  best day of her life followed closely by that early morning half a year later when her beautiful baby came into this world.  Her angel and shining light.  She was beaming from deep within and so was he.

Alas the fairy tale didn’t last; the princess turned into a middle aged cancer survivor/divorcee living with depression and nursing a broken heart literally and emotionally.  Rejection has hit her hard, to the very core of her being and she has had to dig deep, grit her teeth and go on.

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Out of body (3)

 
Pungent overwhelming reeks of decay
the decomposing hollow eyed corpse lay
billy no mates in a dusty corner forgotten invisible but
for the army of maggots merrily tunnelling in and out the
cavities as if it was disneyland florida
 
She looking down wanted to scream
‘can’t you see me lying rotting away
at least have the decency to give me a proper burial
send off
don’t just trip over me and curse’
 
But deaf blind and dumb they ignored her
as if she was dead and
carried on with their lives
the father getting into more debt
the girl plotting to leave home
the worms crawling all over the screen
 
No wonder cats howled at full moon

Cancer or Divorce? Husband or Daughter?

You know those games where you are confronted with a dilemma, if there was only one space left in the lifeboat or hot air balloon, who would you choose to save, husband or child?  I am assuming all parents would say child without hesitation.  It is our maternal/paternal instincts to protect our young.  The adult can look after himself whilst the child cannot and his life hasn’t even properly began yet.

And given a choice between cancer and divorce I’d opt for the former any day.  Why?  You may be shocked by my choice.  Cancer is a physical disease which if caught early enough can be treated.  There is also a time scale to all the gruelling treatment, you know when the 6 cycles of chemotherapy will end, the 3 weeks of intense radiotherapy Mon to Fri.  You can work out accurately to the day when all this will be over.

On the other hand, how long your stay at Heartbreak Hotel is uncertain.  Will you ever check out completely?  Maybe you will leave and return for a brief visit now and again.

Every time i say goodbye

Every time i say goodbye i die a little

same ritual we embrace on platform 3b

whisper words of love you embark

with your bags graphics folder

home

to where i am not

to your life and

my heart breaks a little

yet i smile wave

for i don’t want to make it harder baby

so i put on my brave mum face

and i make the long way home

with less bounce back to my room

in a shared house wondering why

you and i have to always say goodbye cos

every time i die a little

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