Category Archives: Dealing with emotions

Wish

Wish

I could bottle pain

watch it sail away

capture sadness

let it soar

gather disappointment

see it burn

seek selective amnesia

sieve away the bad

rationalise persuade

erase

yet in the core of my very being

the dull aches keeps throbbing

robbied fobbed off

powerless defenceless

for being mere human

failing to live up to expectations

imperfect flawed unworthy

Wish

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Poem a day challenge #15 Opposites

Tasted delicious euphoria deep deep sorrow

surrounded friends family weary body soul dragging

scaled Mt. Optimism all I wanna is to die blessed relief

beautiful smiling bride bitter divorcee

essential part of happy family thrown out with the trash recycling not required

jonathon livingston seagull soaring free crashed spectacularly wing lopsided grounded

licking wound gazing longingly up

will she ever fly again

scale the heights of delight

look down upon

world of goodness

restore faith in humanity

just a blip unlucky

gonna be ok kid

One day you’re gonna fly high high above the clouds

leave the sorrow behind

healed

Different kinda pain

for me on this my 21st wedding anniversary

(thanks go to Andrew Urquhart, fellow blogger for suggesting the title)

 

feeling kinda blue wanna

     drown in the ocean of forgetfulness

resolutely slam that door full

speed ahead to infinity and

beyond

 

how come you can wave the

‘past’ goodbye with such

abandon glee no trace of

sadness sprinting  to embrace

future

 

Did it mean nothing to you

marriage me us our

love i was there for the

duration good bad ugly

absurd

 

Different kinda pain 

sixth year alone cross your

mind that summer’s day the

     eighth of eighth month

lucky

 

This time tears all

cried out no searing paralysing

jab just dull lingering ache

hunkers down to fight another

day

 

I will remember our happy 

union till last breath not

relegate to just another

day for it meant the world to

me

 

Different kinda pain

 

Shouldn’t but does

 
Shouldn’t but does
 
Shouldn’t bother me but
does you going off to Bulgaria
see a stranger you’ve fallen
in love with prepared to fly all those miles
hire a car other end
 
All these years I have been here 
next to you in bed on the couch
waiting yearning for
you to
communicate
acknowledge
validate my
existence worth sharing
yourself
want to know
who
I am
 
But
you
never did
 
Shouldn’t bother me but
does how you effortlessly
walked away from the past no lingering 
backward glance as if those eighteen years
never happened mattered
 
Are you a good actor
or you really don’t care
devoid of emotions just relieved
rid of irritating inconvenience
 
What does she offer that I
can’t
another delusion infatuation
 
You
may one day come to
your senses mourn the
loss of one who
loved you without reservation
seek and find her
gone
 
For she
will have changed
stronger pain is an
effective teacher no
longer needs nor loves
you
 
Made her live a Lie
crucified everything
she
believed
valued
 
Shouldn’t bother but 
does
you
 
         
 

loss (2)

like days blown by autumn leaves
swept by the breeze the pebble
sinking to the bottom of the sea
snow melting into the ground
memories edited distorted collected
full circle we have come nothing new
under the sun raging crashing waves
no hidden secret buried deep on the
ocean floor loss smiles beckons a
long lost friend reunited I embrace
thee cease be for you are the fabric
of life men come and go and stuff
what sifts through the giant colander
of time space is what’s worth
holding on family mates life itself

how

stopped asking why
futile
moved on to
how

everybody says move on let go
how

words are easy
meaningless

how
do you get all the pain out
forget the hurt accept loss
begin a new life not mourn the old

how
hold onto the good memories
not permit the end to taint
wring the last drop of love dry

how

Poem a day challenge#13 Agree to disagree

We could never agree to

disagree meet in the

middle now we don’t

meet at all

Cancer or Divorce? Husband or Daughter?

You know those games where you are confronted with a dilemma, if there was only one space left in the lifeboat or hot air balloon, who would you choose to save, husband or child?  I am assuming all parents would say child without hesitation.  It is our maternal/paternal instincts to protect our young.  The adult can look after himself whilst the child cannot and his life hasn’t even properly began yet.

And given a choice between cancer and divorce I’d opt for the former any day.  Why?  You may be shocked by my choice.  Cancer is a physical disease which if caught early enough can be treated.  There is also a time scale to all the gruelling treatment, you know when the 6 cycles of chemotherapy will end, the 3 weeks of intense radiotherapy Mon to Fri.  You can work out accurately to the day when all this will be over.

On the other hand, how long your stay at Heartbreak Hotel is uncertain.  Will you ever check out completely?  Maybe you will leave and return for a brief visit now and again.

Poem a day challenge#11 Pls pass the salt dear

paler shades of love

love comes in
many pale shades hues
as does pain and hate
grey areas galore
messy pastel colours
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