Shouldn’t but does

 

Shouldn’t but does

 

Shouldn’t bother me but

does you going off to Bulgaria

see a stranger you’ve fallen

in love with prepared to fly all those miles

hire a car other end

 

All these years I have been here 

next to you in bed on the couch

waiting yearning for

you to

communicate

acknowledge

validate my

existence worth sharing

yourself

want to know

who

I am

 

But

you

never did

 

Shouldn’t bother me but

does how you effortlessly

walked away from the past no lingering 

backward glance as if those eighteen years

never happened mattered

 

Are you a good actor

or you really don’t care

devoid of emotions just relieved

rid of irritating inconvenience

 

What does she offer that I

can’t

another delusion infatuation

 

You

may one day come to

your senses mourn the

loss of one who

loved you without reservation

seek and find her

gone

 

For she

will have changed

stronger pain is an

effective teacher no

longer needs nor loves

you

 

Made her live a Lie

crucified everything

she

believed

valued

 

Shouldn’t bother but 

does

you

 

         

 

Out of body (3)

 

Pungent overwhelming reeks of decay

the decomposing hollow eyed corpse lay

billy no mates in a dusty corner forgotten invisible but

for the army of maggots merrily tunnelling in and out the

cavities as if it was disneyland florida

 

She looking down wanted to scream

‘can’t you see me lying rotting away

at least have the decency to give me a proper burial

send off

don’t just trip over me and curse’

 

But deaf blind and dumb they ignored her

as if she was dead and

carried on with their lives

the father getting into more debt

the girl plotting to leave home

the worms crawling all over the screen

 

No wonder cats howled at full moon

into the light …

Chink of white glittery light peeping tom sunlight

veranda steps robin orange breast alights

swaying bird feeder black cat darts across lawn 

chased by puss in white boots mischievous out

of the shadows into the light I have arrived at this

place of acceptance late used to being 

shouted at screwed up you

touched me gently on the arm

i felt

love

 

Heal the wound hurt little girl unheard

unseen surprised by

love

 

Out of the shadows into the light I

have arrived at this place of acceptance

compassion I have bucketfuls

for myself I must learn the lesson

rinse out brainwashing to meet own 

needs selfish gave all discarded 

found myself empty lost

 

 

Out of the shadows into the light I

have arrived at this place of acceptance

loss (2)

like days blown by autumn leaves

swept by the breeze the pebble

sinking to the bottom of the sea

snow melting into the ground

memories edited distorted collected

full circle we have come nothing new

under the sun raging crashing waves

no hidden secret buried deep on the

ocean floor loss smiles beckons a

long lost friend reunited I embrace

thee cease be for you are the fabric

of life men come and go and stuff

what sifts through the giant colander

of time space is what’s worth

holding on family mates life itself

how

stopped asking why
futile
moved on to
how

everybody says move on let go
how

words are easy
meaningless

how
do you get all the pain out
forget the hurt accept loss
begin a new life not mourn the old

how
hold onto the good memories
not permit the end to taint
wring the last drop of love dry

how

Poem a day challenge#13 Agree to disagree

We could never agree to

disagree meet in the

middle now we don’t

meet at all

Poem a day challenge#11 Pls pass the salt dear

please pass the salt btw i dont love you anymore haven’t for the last three years i’d like out please would you like to add anything to the shopping list i’ll move into the spare room we can be housemates after all we have both been good parents lovely dinner dear thanks for cooking what […]

paler shades of love

love comes in

many pale shades hues

as does pain and hate

grey areas galore

messy pastel colours

Every time i say goodbye

Every time i say goodbye i die a little

same ritual we embrace on platform 3b

whisper words of love you embark

with your bags graphics folder

home

to where i am not

to your life and

my heart breaks a little

yet i smile wave

for i don’t want to make it harder baby

so i put on my brave mum face

and i make the long way home

with less bounce back to my room

in a shared house wondering why

you and i have to always say goodbye cos

every time i die a little

Control freak

if you are right

then i must be wrong

and that cannot be

if you talk sense

then i can’t get my way

and that cannot be

if you are smart

that makes me look bad

and that cannot be

if you are sane

then i must be mad

and that cannot be

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• How to Control Your Control Freak (vanessaoglau.wordpress.com)
• Is a Control Freak Messing With Your Life? (healthbistro.lifescript.com)