Blog Archives
melancholy
Gorgeous is a little melancholic today, suddening realising that this day 21 years ago she was a beautiful bride in plum silk cheung sam sitting on the love of her life’s knee to take their wedding photo. It was the best day of her life followed closely by that early morning half a year later when her beautiful baby came into this world. Her angel and shining light. She was beaming from deep within and so was he.
Alas the fairy tale didn’t last; the princess turned into a middle aged cancer survivor/divorcee living with depression and nursing a broken heart literally and emotionally. Rejection has hit her hard, to the very core of her being and she has had to dig deep, grit her teeth and go on.
how
stopped asking why
futile
moved on to
how
everybody says move on let go
how
words are easy
meaningless
how
do you get all the pain out
forget the hurt accept loss
begin a new life not mourn the old
how
hold onto the good memories
not permit the end to taint
wring the last drop of love dry
how
Poem a day challenge#13 Agree to disagree
We could never agree to
disagree meet in the
middle now we don’t
meet at all
Pain (2)
Words
Hide and Seek
I looked for you in the wardrobe under the bed behind the curtains
I tried to read your expression gaze into the window of your soul
I worked hard at catching what you were saying reading between the lines
Figuring out what was left unsaid the silence that stood between us
But you hid always behind that iron mask you wore even to bed
So though you were here I never found you however hard I seek
I looked for you in the shower under the summer sun behind the trees
I tried to capture your soul essence what made you tick get up every day
I worked hard at peeping beyond the facade of charm all round good bloke
Figuring out why the barrage of criticism finger wagging put downs kept coming
But you remained stoic saintly silent resilient a martyr to the cause unwavering
So though you were here I never found you no matter where I seek
Can the real you stand up please
Where have you been hiding all these years
Cos I sure never found you
Like snow which melts away
Autumn leaves blown by the wind
The river flowing in to the sea
Like the days which will not return
Memories lodged in our mind’s eye
The wounded wings healed fly free
Can the real you stand up please
Where have you been all these years
Cos I sure never knew you
I looked for you in the wardrobe under the bed behind the curtains
I tried to read your expression gaze into the window of your soul
I worked hard at catching what you were saying reading between the lines
But I never found you
Though I loved you
With all my heart
Where have you been hiding
My Love
It’s time
It’s time
to dry the ravenous tears
wrap a cast around your pierced heart
crawl inch by inch if you must
but get off that damn floor
keep moving
that way you know you are
still alive
Stand up tall
head held high
dignity is all
Look the mirror in the eye
pay huge respect
fighter survivor tough old bird
dug deep against immeasurable odds
terrified abandoned
did what she had to and
go on
It’s time
to get back on that horse
reclaim your power force
repay the kindness of strangers
when you found yourself
in a dark place with
nowhere to go
Make sense of why you had to endure survive
recurrent depression
cancer twice
chemo-induced heart failure
You were meant to live
do some good
It’s time