Memory Lane Ebbing flow of joy deep Sorrow Words images thoughts Borrow When pain doubles us up Burrow Sometimes truth hard to Swallow But there is always Tomorrow
I could bottle pain
watch it sail away
let it soar
see it burn
seek selective amnesia
sieve away the bad
yet in the core of my very being
the dull aches keeps throbbing
robbied fobbed off
for being mere human
failing to live up to expectations
imperfect flawed unworthy
for me on this my 21st wedding anniversary
(thanks go to Andrew Urquhart, fellow blogger for suggesting the title)
feeling kinda blue wanna
drown in the ocean of forgetfulness
resolutely slam that door full
speed ahead to infinity and
how come you can wave the
‘past’ goodbye with such
abandon glee no trace of
sadness sprinting to embrace
Did it mean nothing to you
marriage me us our
love i was there for the
duration good bad ugly
Different kinda pain
sixth year alone cross your
mind that summer’s day the
eighth of eighth month
This time tears all
cried out no searing paralysing
jab just dull lingering ache
hunkers down to fight another
I will remember our happy
union till last breath not
relegate to just another
day for it meant the world to
Different kinda pain
So what is wrong with my love you stamp on it squeezing fractured heart breathless pitiful heap on floor shocked to the core So what was wrong with me flaunting new love friends and family added spring to walk So what she have I don’t stumbled upon Kindle debut Poems 4 Ani £4.99 Amazon never […]
I will swallow
I will borrow
I’ve truly become one of the locals; mission accomplished. Upgraded to a mummy from crash dummy, neck and shoulders wrapped in bandages with only the herbal medicine pack hidden on my back.
I’d thought I could escape the torture with the excuse of thunderstorms but these abated in the late afternoon. I rang hoping they’ll say come tomorrow we’re closing soon, no chance, this is HK remember, nope open till 9pm. Running out of excuses I dutifully turned up at the torture chamber. Familiar with the routine I entered the dim dungeon only to find Sze Fu No. 1 catching a bite with the lull and the sadistic one having a nap in the side room. The closed door was highly unusual and another victim and I wondered what was going on. She whispered conspiratorially, ‘He’s been in there a long time’. I added, ‘Must be a very serious case!’ ‘He might be sleeping …’ she speculated. Just that split second the door opened and The God of Prosperity appeared asking, ‘And what’s wrong with sleeping? This is my place, I can do what I like.’ Nothing wrong with his ears.
It turns out he’s the Top Doc in the joint. His name is above the shop door and have certificates proudly displayed as a registered Chinese Doctor a the front. Hence he can click necks and do bear lifts. Henceforth his nickname will be God of Health instead.
By now I knew the drill. Put herbal pack in microwave, turn dial to the red line, wait for the ping, put in a fabric bag and roll. Exactly the same procedure with SzeFu No.1 but with shoulders too. I nearly suffered a coronary when told there would be a charge for each shoulder. Some people can get away with just the one. Mmm not gonna have much change from the $1000 I’d just taken out.
But I’ve started, so I’ll finish. And my special subject is Pain. I tried to play the ‘poor me’ card: unemployed, divorced, middle aged woman, alone with no family or friends here. But no can do. Informed I was getting super value.
Fast forward to the left shoulder. The wise Master declared my arm stiff from having all the lymph nodes removed. I know, I was there. Without knowing GOH had touched a raw nerve. To lose a part of you which defines your femininity at the tender age of 36 with no family history is about as truamatic as it gets. For me. Well meaning people remind me how lucky I am compared to the starving kids in Africa. True it sucks for them but that don’t take away my suffering .
I clung onto GOH like driftwood, drowning in my own brand of hell. The boss to his credit did not bat an eyelid as if this was perfectly normal. I spurted out my sorry tale for the millionth time and the Wise One told me, ‘It’s not him who rejected you but you who don’t want him anymore. He was too stupid to appreciate your love. Better to find out you married the wrong man now than on your deathbed. You are young enough to begin anew.’
He surprised me with his tenderness presenting me with a box of pastries. I cried harder. He went on to invite me to lunch with them the next day. The tears kept flowing … Even grumpy overworked Chinese Doctors can show you compassion when the man you would have taken a bullet for didn’t.
I knew what he said made sense in my head but for the very first time my heart conceded. I came to have my neck and back sorted and left with a mended heart. Chinese Doctors Rule O.K. I am a believer.
Despite growing up with Mum’s nutritious soups I am still a firm believer in the powers of Western Medicine. When you go and see the Family Doctor you know they have had the pre-requisite training at university plus putting in the hours at hospitals. As far as I know anybody can set up shop as […]