Don’t you sometimes wish things could be unsaid?
If things could be unsaid I wouldn’t have a broken heart which no superglue however strong can mend. Cracks will remain leaking blood drop by crimson drop. Some say there is beauty in imperfection and that some potters actually smash their work and then glue the fragments back.
I wish things could be unsaid so I could hold onto the good and not be plagued by doubts and wondering if I imagined it all.
If I could simply press the undo button I would be that twenty something innocent happy confident optimistic and sociable girl again. Before depression, cancer, separation and divorce … I felt good about myself, I was popular, people liked me, students, colleagues, friends. I hadn’t been seen as a problem yet; I hadn’t been brainwashed into believing it.
I sometimes think of my life in terms of before and after, before the cancer and after. From that point life was never the same.