Why make it public?
A friend read the ‘Closure’ post and asked why I chose to make it public and what this says about me. The answer is very simple. I have been sharing my emotional journey of healing from the start. I wanted others to celebrate with me the fact that in my head and heart I had made a huge leap, from blame and victimhood to owning responsibility for my part in the tragedy. If you had seen or heard me five years ago, you would hard believe the transformation and breakthrough. It is also a vital part of the process of acceptance and letting go.
It begs the question, why make anything public? Why blog, why post your status on fb, why tweet? Why invite friends and family to witness your wedding? After all marriage and that commitment to be part of each other’s life from this time forth is between you two, why make it public? Why go to AA meetings, stand up, introduce yourself and admit in front of strangers that you have a problem with alcohol?
My question is why not? I have nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to hide. Yes I want a pat on the back, a high five. I also want to share with those experiencing heartache and breakups now that however long it takes and how deeply you feel hurt, you will be able to forgiveness and get beyond the anger, sadness and sense of tremendous loss. The scar will remain, you can’t pretend it never happened, that you suffered great pain but you can grieve, let it go and begin anew. A sequel. My birth, childhood, formative years were the prologue, marriage, depression, cancer, recurrence, separation, divorce, depression, struggles the main chapter and Shiny New Life in HK the sequel. Not just another chapter but a brand new book which carries on the story but has a happy ending.
It is our life, it is up to us to write the script, the plot, which characters to include or cut. We can change tragedy to a comedy. We get to decide the ending because we are the writer, producer, director and protagonist. Such power. Make it a good one. One worth living and sharing.