Loving yourself is lonely

I am sick and tired of people telling me to learn to love myself and to be positive.  It is hard enough to keep calm and carry on when shit keeps hitting the fan but to have to put a positive spin on it, smile and be grateful for whatever damn lesson it is supposed to be teaching you is a bit much.

Yes, yes, yes I hear you protest: you cannot love others or find true love unless you have learnt to love yourself.  But you know loving yourself is very lonely.  And most of the people who tell me this are in loving stable relationships.  Which is kind of a double slap to the face.  What do they know about heartbreak and rejection? Going home to be greeted by the blank four walls which do not greet you back nor wipe away your tears?

Not only do you have to suffer but you have to do it graciously; no resentment, anger, swearing, screaming, pulling of hair, smashing of plates.  Just meditate, breathe in breathe out and thank God for caring about you so much to send you these precious lessons.  Be still and contemplate what you can learn from all this.  It will make you stronger, after all, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.  Whoever coined that phrase should be shot!

Ah appreciate all that you had cos now you have lost it all.  But never mind, be positive, for then you can achieve anything and be anyone you want to be. Accept.  This is how it is not how it should be.  Live in the moment, breathe in breathe out.  To be born is to suffer.  All attachment bring pain.

If one more person tells me to be positive and to love myself I am going to scream at the top of my voice and I don’t care if the men in white with the designer fitted jackets cart me off.